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PROFESSOR PATRICK WINSTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the engineers drinking song. Back in the day, I've drunk quite a lot to that song. And as drinking songs go, it's not bad. I caution you, however, before playing this song in the presence of small children, audition it first. Some of the verses are sufficiently gross as to make a sailor go beyond blushing. It's an interesting song because there are an infinite number of verses. Here's the mathematical proof. Suppose there were a finite number of verses. Then there would be a last verse. And if there were a last verse, then some drunk alumni would compose a new one. Therefore, there is no last verse, the size is not finite, and there are an infinite number of verses. I play it for you today because I'm an engineer. I like to build stuff. I build stuff out of wood. I build stuff out of metal. I build stuff out of rocks. And I especially like to write programs. I don't know, sometimes people come to me ...

PATRICK WINSTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the Romanian national anthem. I did not ask you to stand, because I didn't play it as a symbol of Romanian national identity. But rather, to celebrate the end of the Cold War, which occurred about the time that you were born. Before that, no one came to MIT from Eastern Europe. But since that time, we've been blessed by having in our midst Lithuanians, Estonians, Poles, Czecs, Slovaks, Bulgarians, Romanians, Slovenians, Serbs, and all sorts of people from regions of the world formally excluded to us. Believe me, you are all welcome in our house. Almost all, that is to say. Because you may recall that Romania is the traditional home of vampires. And since the end of the Cold War, vampires have had new vectors for emerging from their traditional places and penetrating into the world at large. You may have vampire in your suite, or on your floor. And it's important to know how to recognize them, and take the necessary precau...